


Winter Warmth

by CorruptedHex



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Am I projecting. Yea just a little, Coming Out, Explicit Sexual Consent, Haurchefant helps the WoL love themself!, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Really fluffy, Referenced Dysphoria, self acceptance and self love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorruptedHex/pseuds/CorruptedHex
Summary: The Warrior of Light has had a hard life, though in Haurchefant's arms, he finds himself at ease. No pretenses, no walls. Their relationship has progressed to a point where they both want to take things further- but he's nervous, and unsure, secretly harbouring a resentment for his physical appearance. When Haurchefant finds out, they work together to strengthen their own relationship and build the Warrior of Light's confidence.
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	Winter Warmth

It had been some few months since the Warrior of Light had taken refuge in Camp Dragonhead. Coerthas was a lonely, barren place. Bereft of life, cold and unfriendly. It bore ancient scars of war and hostility, a hatred reflected in the harsh climate, and the unforgiving, imposing stone architecture. He remembered the first time he'd come there, sent on a mission to recover a lost airship. It was like a whole other world, detached entirely from Eorzea. He had felt immediately uncomfortable and unwelcome, the icy stares of passing knights boring into his soul. He was a stranger. He was alone. 

But the Camp was...well, the complete antithesis. It was made of the same sturdy, grey stone, but from within the Knight Captain's hall came a great warmth. Flickering fires lit the chamber with a gentle, but still bright glow. With a shy laugh, the Warrior wondered if they were dreaming. As they entered, one of the soldiers took off their cold, wet cloak, hanging it to dry by the fire. He didn't get any piercing stares as he started to walk towards the captain himself, though he had paused to wait for the conversation between him and one of his guards to come to a close. As he stood there, still shivering, he couldn't help but stare. The captain was expressive, bold, bright and cheerful, and his men didn't wear the same weary expressions of the other guards he had passed on the way here. He knew, just from a quick glance at him that he was the source of all of that warmth that poured out of the doors and into every soldier working the camp. 

Satisfied, the guard headed for the doors, and the captain looked up to lock eyes with the warrior of light. Twelve, his smile was beautiful. All of his anxiety just seemed to melt away, and he came straight out with his plight. 

*

Their relationship had begun as purely professional, but as their meetings became more and more frequent, something else began to blossom between them. At first, friendship, and then something perhaps deeper. He recalled the day he had left Coerthas, all of his business wrapped up. He was needed elsewhere, and the situation back home was tense. He would be gone for some time, and it was with great difficulty he told Haurchefant. He'd smiled, and told him to come back as soon as he could, and that in the meantime, though he'd miss him terribly, he'd be cheering him on from the sidelines, excited to hear all his wonderful stories of his exploits the moment he got back. He'd nodded, and hauled his bag back over his shoulders, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the other man. He'd miss his kind words and his comforting presence. How strange it was, he noticed, a blush dusting his cheeks, that in spite of coming to this region alone, with the fate of his closest allies up in the air, that leaving would fill him with such a sense of dread. Before Haurchefant could ask what was wrong, he flung his arms around the Elezen, holding him close before breaking away from the hug, bashful and embarrassed. "Sorry," he stammered, only to find Haurchefant's hands on his arms, one slowly trailing up his side, until it was resting on his face. He leaned in close, his voice barely above a whisper.

"May I kiss you?" 

"Yes," he whispered back, his voice shaking, his hands trembling. 

*

They'd never formally announced their relationship, but it was hardly a secret. Now that the Warrior of Light had been staying at the camp for some time, practically everyone knew of the Captain's partner. They were both fairly new to this sort of thing, they'd admitted to each other. The Warrior of Light had never been in love before, while Haurchefant wasn't used to such serious relationships. He was honest about his fairly notorious love life, as the rumours were bound to reach him eventually. He'd taken many lovers before, but never were he or his partners committed. They simply came to have several nights together, and left content, rarely ever getting back in touch. But with the warrior, he was a perfect lover, kind, and gentle, and ever so respectful. 

Their relationship was rarely physical, something Haurchefant had promised he was completely fine with. This was their relationship, and the other should never feel pressured to do things they weren't yet ready for. 

He often chalked his awkwardness around physical intimacy up to inexperience. But he was lying, and it ate at him. He wanted, desperately, to try those things. To lay with him. To kiss him again, for him to touch him...but he didn't know how he could tell the truth. He wasn't "not ready" as he'd said so many times before, he was just deathly afraid. He didn't want to keep the truth about his gender a secret, but he wasn't sure how to tell him. He knew he wouldn't think of him less, or refuse the things he had offered before, but the thoughts went around and around in his head. Their dysphoria was so far buried after well over a decade of living as a man, that they sometimes forgot it was there. But when he imagined Haurchefant seeing him naked, seeing the scars on his chest, seeing everything there, it came flooding back in a horrible wave of murky self hatred. So deep was his fear, that he didn't even feel able to share a room with his partner, that he slept in a guest room, craving his warmth desperately. With a sigh, he collapsed into bed, his thoughts swimming. A hand trailed down his chest, tracing the scarred tissue with his fingers. He wouldn't let his fear control his life anymore.

*

The next night, they both stayed up late, sorting paperwork, polishing armour, making sure everything was in working order. 

"You look troubled," Haurchefant placed a hand on his, thumb rubbing against his palm, "If there's anything on your mind, I'm here to listen. Who knows, maybe I could even help a little, too." 

The Warrior slumped back against the bench, placing the breastplate they had polished to one side. "It's hard when it's something to do with you that's been bothering me." 

Even though he'd tried to hide it, Haurchefant was clearly shaken, and his smile faded. "I'm so sorry - if I've done anything to make you feel uncomfortable please don't hesitate to tell me." 

They sighed, flustered, "No, no! It's ok. You haven't made me uncomfortable. I'd tell you, Haurchefant. I promise. I've just been thinking about what you asked me a little while back. What you, ah, asked to do. With me, I mean." 

No longer able to keep eye contact, he stared at the floor, anxiously wringing his hands. Haurchefant just shuffled even closer. He rested his head atop his warrior's, and one hand came to brush through their hair. "You don't need to think about that. If you feel like you'd like to try, of course you can. But never feel pressured, or as though it's what I want. What I want, my dear, is you to be happy. And to feel safe." 

Several minutes passed in a peaceful silence, the Warrior enjoying the warmth of his presence, and his hands around them. Finally though, he looked up from the floor, and turned to face them directly. "It's just - I think I would like to try. I've wanted to ask for a while but," the words were stuck in his throat, and suddenly he claimed up. The hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, and he started again. "I would like us to spend the night together I think - if you want, of co-" Before he could even finish, Haurchefant kissed him, and as their lips parted, he smiled, "I would like nothing more." Gently, he lifted them to their feet, spinning them around until their back was pressed against his chest. They looked up into his calm, yet infinitely mischievous eyes. He grinned, "Shall we be off then, my dear?" 

It wasn't his first time in the captain's chambers - but it always seemed like such a perfect place. Lit by the fierce flickering glow of several candles, and decorated with all sorts of ishgardian furniture. It was nothing fancy, not really, but it had this subtle elegance that matched its occupant perfectly. The curtains were drawn, and the doors closed. The Warrior of Light was giddy, nervous with excitement, trying desperately to beat down the rising dread that was also starting to build its way up. He was shaken from his doubts as he watched Haurchefant's chainmail be discarded, and then the undershirt beneath, his belt undone and his greaves kicked off. Sheepishly, he looked away, starting to fiddle with his own clothes. Even then, he couldn't help but steal glances over at the man behind him, his chest now bare, and at the grace and confidence with which he disrobed. He was almost certain he must look like a complete fool by comparison, fumbling with unclasping his armour and wrestling with his shirt. 

"Would you like a hand?" 

He jumped when he turned to the voice, only to see Haurchefant sitting, now completely naked, upon the sheets. There was nothing mocking, or teasing about his tone, just the same gentle cadence. Trying (and completely failing) to hide the deep crimson flushed across his cheeks, they nodded, and soon felt the knight's careful, practiced hands undo his shirt for him. His breathing hitched as his fingers brushed against his chest, and he drew back, waiting for confirmation to keep going. They apologised for how jumpy they were being, and he just laughed. A happy, comforting laugh. As though he'd said something completely absurd. He realised that maybe, he had. 

His shirt, and then his trousers fell to the floor, leaving him in nothing but his small clothes. "Wait, stop-" he breathed, and Haurchefant immediately drew back. "I'd like to do this myself." 

He nodded, and stepped away, giving him some privacy as they too were sent to the pile of discarded clothes. He was now extremely aware of his thundering heart rate, and the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He'd done it, he'd finally got the weight that had been holding him down for so long off of his shoulders. But Haurchefant's silence terrified him. Had he not realised? Was he surprised? Uncomfortable?

"Come here" 

Haurchefant beckoned him forward, his expression not fully readable, but far from any of the things that he had worried about. Their bodies met, and Haurchefant held him, leaving kisses at his forehead, trailing down until their lips met. They held the kiss for a moment that seemed to last both an eternity and little more than a second.

"I love you," he said, pulling him even closer, burying his head in the shorter man's hair. They were smiling now, laughing, as he brushed away his tears. "Twelve, I love you too. So much." 

It took some time for them to break their embrace, the two of their bodies relishing the other's warmth, curious hands exploring unfamiliar skin. Haurchefant's hands were rough, but his touch was soft. As he ventured into new territory, he made sure to check his Warrior was still comfortable. His hands pressed lightly against their backside, while their own were found wrapped around his waist. 

"What a handsome young man you are," Hautchefant grinned, kissing him again.

The Warrior of Light tightened their grip on his waist, blushing profusely and resting their head atop his chest. All of his doubts melted away. Wave by wave, rolling away, as an impossibly heavy burden began to crumble and fall from his shoulders. As he stood there, his exposed body in the hands of his partner, he felt weightless, light, like all his fear had been stripped away. Haurchefant hadn't flinched, or recoiled, or felt uncomfortable, or made any off colour comments. He accepted him, just as he was. For the man that he was.

"Haurchefant…?" 

"Mh?"

"I think-" he swallowed his apprehension, and spoke clear, his voice steady, "I think I'm ready now." 

The hands that had moments ago been at his rear shifted to guide him towards the bed. He noticed how flushed the Warrior was, their cheeks a bright, deep red, and warm to the touch. Haurchefant lay back against the cool pillows, the other leaning back against the Elezen's skin, as his legs closed around him. Once his breathing had slowed a little, the mighty blush in his cheeks fading, they shifted, the Warrior lying against the sheets, while Haurchefant kneeled above him, his expression calm, his eyes half lidded. 

Excitement mingling with a sense of uncertainty stirred deep within their chest, as he leaned down even further, his lips just films from his face. "Now, my dear. I hope to give you a wonderful first time. I simply hope I live up to what I'm sure are lofty expectations." He chuckled, light and yet somehow wicked.

Even as he flirted, his movements were ever so tender, and he lifted away, moving his legs closer, as his arms dug into the sheets on either side of his shoulders. He wasn't sure what to expect, but he knew he was in safe hands. What happened next was entirely Haurchefant's decision, and he trusted him to make this night a memorable one. His heart was pounding from anticipation, as brand new feelings electrified his nerves. He was ready.

*  
As the night's activities faded, they lay together in the afterglow, still smiling. For a while, they rested together in complete silence. The Warrior of Light found they weren't nervous, or uncomfortable. They felt at home in his bed. As though the perfect place for them was by his side. After a few moments passed, they finally spoke up, their blush returning, "Thank you for tonight. That was...that was everything I could have wanted." 

Haurchefant turned over to face him and laughed, "I'm glad!" As he stared into his deep blue eyes, he caught the hint of something subtle - was he...flustered? It was hard to hide his own smile, as he realised such a simple compliment had shaken him so much. He scooted closer slightly, pulling the sheets over his exposed skin, nestling close to the Elezen, resting against his warmth.

As they closed their eyes to sleep, he spoke suddenly, "I know you were worried. But I want you to know that you're a handsome man. It doesn't matter what you look like. You're a man. You're my man, and I love you more than words could ever say."   
As he finished, the Warrior couldn't help but tear up, and soon they were crying. His arms wrapped around him though, and he whispered softly to him, drying his eyes. 

The moon rose higher, and higher, and as it did, the two lovers fell asleep in their embrace, both calm, happy, and content. In each other's company they slept much more soundly, and as the sun rose, and the day began, Haurchefant roused his partner with a kiss, smiling as he brought a mug of hot cocoa each for the two of them to enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is a short fic I wrote for myself for pride month <3 There's some seriously wonderful content out there of trans masc wols, so I thought I'd try my hand too!


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